Laptop! If you are having back problems, repetitive stress, carpal tunnel problems, or whatever, then you're doing it wrong. You are programming for too long at a time. Sit on a couch, change positions frequently. Get up and down off the couch. Get a coffee. Go for a bike ride at lunch. I'm sorry but carpal tunnel and stuff comes from using a computer for too long in the same position. It means you're working too hard and not moving.

Laptop! If you're too poor to afford a laptop, or your job won't buy you one, then you should get a different job! Hello! Programmers are supposed to make a lot of money!

Laptop! Why do people need so many monitors? I understand you have lots of programs to open, but do you really frequently need to see more than two at once? You don't need 10 monitors. It honestly doesn't make you look like you're smarter. You look like a super-dork with all those screens.

Laptop! For heavens sake do people really still uses mouses? That's adorable.